First love
August 22nd, 2006 by justme
Or is it first lust? I remember my first girlfriend from high school. Before her, there were other encounters. Mostly, they were flirts and hand touches followed by run aways down the hall. But, my first love was different. She turned my world upside down. I could not focus on my school work, but that did not require much attention anyway. My thoughts were in much more intereting areas, mainly in her pants. She was in most of my classes except for Spanish as she chose French as her foreign language requirement. We studied together a lot and they were very exhilerating study sessions. At that time, most guys wore sweatpants all day long. Pitching a tent was an every five minute occurence. Our study session usually included a bit of fondling and rubbing.
We began dating after a party at a friends house. I was in what was known as the geeky crowd so parties were not the norm. Our regular out of school activity consisted of soccer, basketball, and track depending on the season. On the weekends the boys would normally get together at a friend’s house to play basketball until the sun went down. So it was quite a change to have a party that Saturday night. Our mutual friend decided to have a bunch of friends over for games and a movie. There were no beers or bongs or anything else for that matter. Her parents were at home and they were hanging out upstairs.
When the party started, it was quite tame as we had expected. Games of Trivial Pursuit and Scrabble were our predominant entertainment. After a couple of hours, we got bored and wanted something different. Our friend offered to put in a movie she had rented and turned the lights off for better viewing. Shortly after the lights went out, most of our friends had paired off and were making our with each other. I was really shy and did not make a move on anyone. I did not feel comfortable to approach any girls at the time. They felt so far superior to me. Why would they want me? There was so much self doubt and the inability to communicate with someone I had a crush on. What if I spoke to her and she turns away? What if she laughs at me? There is no way I could face anyone in school the next day. It would be too embarassing.
So I sat there with a pillow on the back of a chair and drapped my arms over it while resting my chin on it to be in a comfortable position for the movie. At that time, my friend came over to me and noted how comfortable the pillow looked. She asked if she could share it with me so she could rest her chin also. I was able to sputter out some form of affirmation so she pulled up a chair next to me and shared my pillow with me. She settled in next to me bringing our heads together. We watched the movie for a while but a could not concentrate on it. Her proximity made me excited yet uncomfortable. There was so much desire growing within me while there was also a lot of anxiety towards the possibility of making a fool of myself. My discomfort led me to shift my head. As I turned toward her I noticed she was starring at me through her stylish wireframe glasses. We gazed into each others eyes for a moment and she closed her eyes. I then moved my lips the two inches that separated us and kissed her.